Counseling for Rapists

It is said that 1 in every 3 women in USA is sexually assaulted. One woman in every 1 minute is getting raped in India. The figures could be little off in other countries. I get disturbed when I hear about death penalty awarded to rapists and murderers. Incidently, after 2004 when Dhananjay Chatterjee was convicted of raping 14 years and killing Hetal Parekh, there were protests against capital punishment. Recently I read about death penalty awarded to Santosh Singh who was convicted of raping and murdering Pridarshini Matto (10 years back when she was 23 and was studying law). My post is not about debating on whether death penalty is right or wrong. Rather I want to understand the psychology of rapists and situations they go through in life. I will tell a guy is lying if he has never in life wowed at a beautiful woman or wanted to get intimate with her. Almost every man has this fantasy to ravish someone he desire(d). Talking about rapists, I think they have less control on their thoughts and emotions. There are rapists of different kinds -- some rape minor girls and then murden them; some are spoilt brat (having influential parents) who think they can get away by assaulting any girl; some are gang rapists (Phulon Devi was gang raped by many); some are so violent to plan with cold heart to rape and murder a girl (taking revenge and pacify ego). Assuming that men have animal instint and given that some men are genetically pervert as far controlling oneself is concerned, rapes will continued t be committed for long time to come. I don't understand why a rapist murders his victim. He can come wearing mask and make sure not to leave any evidence. Why take so much risk ? He can simply go and give her that indecent proposal and offer say Rs 20,000 in return. Who knows it might work since people always need money.

I agree grieving family of rape victim would not like to forgive the rapists, but think how a rapist feels when he hears his death sentence. Dhananjay Chatterjee spent more than decade (may be more 20 years) in prison and was hanged later. Aperson who spends more than 20 years in prison, what can remain left in him ? I understand, on the heat of the moment he might have done a gruesome crime, but hasn't he already suffered for 20 years in prison (recall the movie, The Shwashanka's Redemption). He might have contemplated and repented every day of his life in prison.

Santosh Singh is a lawyer by himself. I wonder how he spent those 10 years after raping and murdering his junior student. How he managed to marry someone later and become a father of daughter ? How could he have spent every day thinking "Oh God, why did I do that ?" How does it feel to think, "After a few months, I will not live on this planet. Why am I studying these law books ? What should I do in the remaining days of my life ? What is going through my parents heart and minds ? I am 35 years old guy, was it really worth to rape her ? My friends who I went to school with must be enjoying life in freedom outside, making their parents proud, and what have I done in life, Oh My God ? Is there any remote possibility that I may survive and see my own daughter grow ? Can I get clemency ? Why didn't I hire Jethmalani as my lawyer ? Oh God, can you not forgive me ?"

I don't know if there are other ways to prevent girls from being raped other than making strict laws. I think it is also important on the part of parents to imbibe in their kids, respect towards girls and their vulnerability. Rape is not only a physical crime, it is a rape on the mind and psychology of the victim. Someone rightly said "ladkiwalon ke lafde mein kabhi mat pado" or "Smart are those who find something more interesting than girls and sex". I remember, seniors in engg college ragged us asking -- assume your mom, wife and sister are about to be raped, and you can save only one. Who will you save ? I was surprised to know from many girls that a guy should try to save his sister. Personally I feel, death penalty should be replaced by 200 years of life imprisonment -- let the rapists get raped by homosexual gays in a prison for 200 years.

Tabloid of the Day

There are often these useless tabloids which are near the cashiers' counters in supermarker. I am wondering about the quality and joblessness of the readers who go through these tabloids (of course then there are bloggers like me). Here is what I read the last night on a tabloid - "Kate [Hudson] leaving the country for two months, can Owen [Wilson] stay True...". Come on, there is a limit to something...First of all, do we care if Kate Hudson is leaving the country for two months. Given that it is true, what is the point of speculating if Owen is going to be infidel then. Even if you are going to be infidel, dude, look at me, I left my home country several years ago, forget about having a celebrity girlfriend. Are you that helpless that you cannot stand nights alone for two months ?

Cliches of Cricketers

Indian cricketers are so used to making such useless statements that we are better off not reading those. After losing to Aussies in Champions Trophy, Dravid tried to justify "Our bowlers didn't perform well in the first 15 overs...250 is a good score....There are several areas we have to work at...". Duh...you were playing against Australia...today even 400 may not be sufficient in One-Day matches, and you think 250 was a good score ? Dude, thanks for telling us when the top-order batsmen fail and when the bowlers. If bowlers were inexperienced, were you dreaming when team was getting selected ? Are you are there to report that much ? What are you doing to avoid the inconsistent performance ? This is the vision team of India and Chappell for World Cup 2007. I am wondering when India will be done working at all areas of the game (probably when cricketers are banned from making ads) ? Our hero, Dhoni sahab, is busy making statements "I like blondes". We don't care even if you had liked brunettes. I guess, advertisers have endorsed you enough to relax and unleash your romantic desires. Man, learn from Adam Gilchrist who is 8-9 years older than you. Sachin ! we forgot when you played a decisive innings for the team India. You already have enough bank balance, probably its high time for you to retire gracefully and take up a different job -- of commentary or running hotel business. You go around saying, "People have to understand my role in team has changed, I am not longer 19 years old Sachin....even we don't like losing games...". I am wondering what other main role does a batsman have in a team except for scoring runs. Boss, why you don't admit you are now too old for the game and you are scared of McGrath, Lee,etc. Sehwag, you don't have to follow Sachin so closely in scoring style -- you scored nothing in the last dozen of innings. This 60+ score is nothing given your previous inconsistent performance. Guys, bottomline is we want consistent performance, we don't want to see you on Ads. Unlike we graduate students, you are not juggling between jobs -- writing papers, meeting deadlines, doing courses, teaching labs and licking boots of bosses...you are carrying national flag, earning stardom and money...can't you do your only job right ? Let other players be there to gain experience. Is BCCI paying Rs~75 lakhs per month to Greg Chappell to experiment and gain experience by losing games ? I was sitting next to Roger Binny (who was on his way to Bhutan) in Dum Dum on my way back and I was wondering why couldn't we hire 2-3 ex-Indian players as coaches spending the same amount of money if losing does not matter to us.

Why Diwali ?

I grew up celebrating different festivals. Sometimes, I wonder why there are so many festivals in Hindu calendar, more specifically among Bengalies. Diwali has more of a nationalistic flavor, but is often associated with other Pujas such as Kali Puja, Laxmi Puja etc in different regions.

"...Once upon a time, there was this god called Rama who had to go to forest for more than 10 years with his wife and bro, Lax because of his step-mom. Then there was this scary gangster named Ravana who kidnapped his wife and messed up the situation. Eventually Rama fought with Ravana along with his bro and an army of monkeys, and returned home after 12 years with his wife. Since there was hardly any means of entertainment those days, people lit the lamps and all to welcome them, and thats how Diwali got started..."

Kali Puja usually takes place late night before Diwali night and is mostly done by Bengalies. Goddess Kali has always been very fascinating. She has very dark complexion, wears a garland of skulls, stands on the chest of Lord Shiva and is accompanied by two demi-gods. She is a killer god ! Even Ramkrishna Paramhansa was a dedicated worshipper of Kali and probably Swami Vivekananda too. Her blessings are supposed to imbibe strength and power. I have heard that earlier the robbers used to worship Kali before going to do robbery.

Diwali symbolizes victory of righteousness and light over darkness. Is it not a general message behind most of the festivals ? But, what bugs me little, does Diwali really serve any purpose ? It feels nice that friends send Diwali wishes asking how I spent Diwali. I used to like the holiday part. Now I don't do anything different. It wonder why people in India spend money, time and energy in celebrating Diwali. People spend thousands of Rupees in buying and having fun with fire-crackers and lights. I am sure not most of the same people would bother to donate even Rs 100 to any charity, orphanage or old home. The fireworks industry, for example in Shivakasi is responsible for child-labor at large scale. Now people burn diet fire-crackers which don't make sounds and are pollution friendly.

However, I used to like some other festivals though, for example Makar Sankranti which is related to new year and new harvest from the fields. Lots of delicious food and desserts would be made at home. Then there used to be Saraswati Puja (The Goddess of Knowledge and Learning) when we would not study books. There are others too such as Laxmi Puja, Rakhsha Bandhan....

I am not sure if these festivals and rituals will remain part of Indian culture for centuries to come, but all of these festivals certainly bring joy and hope in the minds and hearts of many Indians.

Be Politically Correct to Women

Came across a few of the following statements on the web sometime back. Can't resist reading the humor. How important it is to be politically correct in our conversation, particularly when interacting with women. I have added and modified some. Let me know if you know of something more interesting.

She is not fat, she achieves Maximum Density.
She is not too skinny, she is Sketelly Prominent.
She is not a bad cook, she has become Microwave Compatible.
She does not love jewellery, she is Metallurgically Overburdened.
She does not love shopping, she is Mall Fluent.
She is not quarrelsome, she is Verbally Confrontational.
She is not talkative, she is Verbally Fluent and Complete.
She does not wear too much makeup, she becomes Cosmetically Saturated.
She is not stupid, she becomes Detour off the Information Highway.
She is not ready for marriage, she wants to incarcerate you domestically.
She is not a stripper, she serves at Gentlemens' Club.
She is not superstitious, she has become Reality Impaired.
She does not have a flat chest, she is Challenged with Mammary Adipose Tissue.
She is not a liar, she is Factually Misinformed.

Things I am anxiously waiting for

Novels: "The Inheritance of Loss" by Kiran Deshai who won the Man Booker Prize in 2006. Other two books namely "My Name is Red" and "Istambul: Memories and The City" by Orhun Pamuk, a Turkish writer, the winner of 2006 Literature Noble Prize. I am somehow losing interests in reading fictions, its high time I read some certified real stuffs. Wanted to read Musharraf's biography, In the Line of Fire but reviews discouraged me.

Sixth Season of 24: Can't wait for Jack to be Back. It starts in Jan and waiting anxiously to see how Jack Bauer escapes from Chinese captivity.

YouTube: I am further waiting to see YouTube incorporated in google video. Didn't know YouTube had such good collection of Indian music albums, songs from movies, etc. Waiting for it to grow further with more intelligent search options of Google.

Why do babies cry so much in plane ?

As I was traveling back from India, I was assigned an aisle basinate seat in British Airways. These seats are idle for moms carrying babies since there is a place infront of the seats where on can put the cart of the baby. But for me it was difficult. There was a lady who was carrying a few months old baby and was sitting next to me. The baby would cry intermittendly. I was feeling helpless seeing the mother who would try to pacify her by all means. I was happy to help her by getting the stuffs from overhead cabin, moving stuffs around etc. Holding the baby in her arms on her lap, she would reach out to her bag, take out milk powder and prepare baby milk while the baby was crying. I don't know how babies can express their pain, discomfort, probably by crying. May be the babies communicate by crying, as I could hear some other babies started crying at other corner of the plane . I don't understand how such young babies get strength to scream and cry at such shrill pitch. But as the mother fed the milk bottle in the baby's mouth, she gradually stopped crying. I was wondering the difficulties that mothers face to go through these situations -- she needed help, she was embarrassed and she was also in pain seeing her baby in discomfort. I was wondering what was going on in the mind of the baby. After feeding milk, the mother put her to sleep. Then she had her own meal. Then she put the baby in the cart. After sleeping for several hours, the baby was awake and then she was playful. I was observing the pinkish small toes and fingers of the baby. I was looking at the small watery eyes, her small lips which were soaked with milk and her tongue. It was so innocent to see how the baby would throw her limbs in the air. I was wondering how that baby would grow up to a full-grown woman some day.