I still remember how I spent my last weekend

Last weekend was both fun as well as saddening. My roommate and I were invited to a dinner by an Eritrean friend. So, we were excited to have an exotic Eritrean dinner since my roommate was leaving to join a job with Bloomberg, NY. Eritrea is small country located in Eastern Africa, bordering the Red Sea, between Djibouti and Sudan. In dinner we had delicious chicken-egg curry, spinach, and soft Eritrean traditional bread called "Injera", something similar to South-Indian Dosa and is made from tiny grain called "Taff" which is mainly produced in Eritrea and Ethiopia. Actually I trivialized the essence and one has to try the taste. We spiced up the food by watching the movie, Hotel Rwanda. Eventually I had to part with my roommate later that night.

The next day I watched Munich by Stephen Spielberg. I would have felt guilty for watching two movies back-to-back when lot of work was piling up. But I was thoughtful with no guilty conscience in me after watching the movies because of what I learned from them. It was because I could connect myself with the themes therein.

It is different matter that I am doing computer science research but I always had two goals in sub-conscious mind. First goal was to become an astronaut and second goal was to become an international spy. Both seemed dangerous, challenging and both of these professions affect common people in different ways (One has to read Eleventh Commandment by Jeffrey Archer to understand how does a fate of a bill in US congress might depend on the result of Russian or Chinese Election). I had the reminiscences of these dream goals on watching Hotel Rwanda and Munich.

Hotel Rwanda can be compared to Schindler's List (Schindler's List was a novel). A hotel manager named Paul Rusesabagina saved more than 1000 people (mostly belonging to Tutsis tribe) from the attacks of dominant Hutu tribes after a war outbreak in Rwanda in 1994. More than 800,000 people were killed within 100 days of war. Paul used to bribe police and military officials to save Tutsis people as Oskar Schindler did to save Jews from Nazi forces. I was wondering all along how can people be so barbaric even in the 21st century, Africans killing Africans. What were UN forces doing then ? How can the countries where people don't have food to eat can manage to buy weapons ? Why are Western countries dumping their weapon junkyards in those poor countries ? Relating it to my previous post, it was sad to know that even Africans have prejudices against themselves (How can Tutsis be different from Hutus ?).

I cannot emphasize more how well-made movie was Munich. Who else can portray more about Jews and Palestinians better than Spielberg, a Jewish himself. A bunch of Jewish were killed in Munich during Olympic games in 1972. So, Jewish counter-terrorism group hired 5 Jewish spies to eliminate 11 Palestinians leaders (a matter of more than $2million dollars) in retaliation. These 5 people would travel almost every city in Europe to hunt and kill these leaders. It was a nail-biting adventurous game and involved a lot of spying and killing. There were emotional aspects showing family bonds, moral values and friendship. So exciting !! Although I cherish my dreams but I realize one to be brave, shrewd, quick and be ready to die in order to serve as a spy. At the end of the day, I made several conclusions:

a) never yield to any temptation in a job and watch out for honey pots laid down by pretty girls; thats why Avner, the leader of the Jewish team, could survive
b) Gandhian principles hold; Killing of Jews and Palestinians will never lead to peace on either side; replacements of killed leaders could be even worse and dangerous
c) one should fight for a cause which affects common people as Paul did in Hotel Rwanda than fighting for establishing supremacy based on prejudices such as caste
d) In crucial tasks (such as in buying secret information, raising kids) never bargain to save few bucks but invest generously; paying more now pays off later.

How would you like to be prejudiced ?

George Aiken said, "If we were up some morning and find that everyone was the same race, creed and color, we would find some other cause for prejudice by noon". Although I strongly protest against any kind of reservation but my purpose is beyond making anti-reservation protests such as one against hike in OBC quota percentage. Ironically education can never uproot prejudice from peoples' minds and will remain in some form or other in every society any time. I want to emphasize on two points - a) upliftment through scholarships and not quota; and b) mitigation of curse against prejudices. My attempt here is to identify some prevailing prejudices and propose some solutions to mitigate the curses of prejudices.

Classical 4-tier hierarchy: Indian Hindu society had been categorized into 4 classes -- Brahmin, Kshatriya, Vaishya and Sudra centuries ago. There are several sub-categories (among Bengalies such as Kayastha, Namasudra, Tantubai etc). Brahmin somehow were considered better species to be treated as middle-men to God. Even in 21st century people take pride in claiming themselves as Brahmin by caste. Kshatriyas are supposed to be descendants of Royal clans. Vaishya used to be businessmen by profession and Sudras were indulged in lowly jobs such as janitor, cobbler etc. This divisions in society were further intensified during British rule. Today the division is somewhat blurry due to modernization, education etc. Such unjustified hierarchy persuaded me to prefer Chinese system -- one language, one main religion, same physiology. Democracy and diversity is too chaotic.

There is no significant perceived dichotomy at this level of classification unless one is trying to marry a Brahmin because Brahmins will not usually agree to such proposals. Here is my consolation to those affected by this discrimination: Brahmins girls/guys are just human beings, one is better off not marrying a Brahmin bride/groom if the bone of contention is caste incompatibility. I am in favor of conversion to other religion such as Islam, Christianity or Buddhism. Religion is anyway based on beliefs and faith. We need visionary ministers like Akbar who had started a new religion (Din-Ilahi) by borrowing good points of all religions. Goverment must scrap out any reservation system followin which any caste-system discrimination won't hold much water.

Backward classes (SC/ST/OBC/MBC): It is a further sub-division of the above classification and encompasses the lower 3 castes from the above hierarchy. Dr. B.R. Amderkar who himself was a Dalit but highly distinguished scholar had envisioned that so-called lower castes should be uplifted through reservation (somehow our leaders were always prone to overlook future and make mistakes). He participated in reforming Indian Constitution and championed constitutional safeguards for untouchables. Why didn't he introduce scholarship system in primary schools ? I would rather give credit to Indian nuclear scientist Meghnad Saha who had tried that status for certain backward classes be uplifted to general class. There is a negative connotation attached to any categorization. The quota system does not help in boosting the self-esteem of the privileged classes rather it makes them subject to de-recognition and deliberate insult. To mitigate any differences, my suggestions are directed as follows:

a) I read furious comments, hiked OBC quota will dilute the standards of the institutions; no one will approach a doctor who got admission through reservations. No single individual has strength to fight against social injustice unless you are Nelson Mandela or son of rich parents like Ambedkar. In that case, people from backward classes should escape from such a system. An MBBS student who feels uncomfortable after graduation should go abroad -- US, China, Australia, Russia, UK, Canada etc and pursue higher degrees and prove themselves. They should however continue to try to uplift people belonging to their classes.

b) People in India are highly sensitive to caste compatibility to an illogical extent. People belonging to reserved classes find it extremely difficult to marry to people belonging to so called general castes. I think they should try to marry non-Indians, someone from different ethnic groups. There is a misconception that only Indian girls(guys) can make good wives(husbands). Get inspired by our ex-President K.R. Narayan. Anyways, Pakistani, Spanish, Blondes, French girls are quite beautiful and worthy.

c) Become a world citizen and find a place where there is no prejudice or de-recognition based on caste.

d) Escapism may not be pragmatic; then they should draw strength and confidence from the example of Karna in Mahabharata. Karna was raised by parents belonging to lower caste and he refused to be known as son of Kunti who belonged to upper caste. He was confident of his talent and perhaps was more talented than any of his Pandava brothers.

Whites and Blacks: People think that it is a curse to be born as black and Africa is an abandoned land. I cannot quantify which one is more heinous -- being born as a black (african) or as a (SC/ST/OBC/MBC) category person. However, I support both Michael Jackson and Oprah Winfrey. Every person has right to do to whatever makes him/her comfortable as long as it does not affect others. I think those non-black people who ascribe Jackson as racist are biggest hypocrites. Will they ever marry black individuals or let their kids do that ? Today we may give example of Denzel Washington, Oprah or Martin Luther King but not everyone can be so. Since Black people are physically well-built they should try to excel in sports or entertainment business and that can compensate for the fact that they are black to some extent. Plastic-surgery to change ones looks is acceptable to me. I hope with progress in bio-technology, soon the Black parents will be able to choose non-black features for their kids.

IITians, RECians, BITians: This is again a major concern in India. People take failure to make it through IIT JEE as an end of the world. Come on, we don't need a society where everyone is an IIT graduate and it is not a sacrosanct litmust test for any talent of anyone.

It is much better to be expert in something than being an average IIT BTech software techy. Read the book, Godel, Esher and Bach. I consider Godel (computer scientist), Esher(painter) and Bach (pianist) all as geniuses. Indian society/parents should stop compartmentalizing our society. We need an education system as in US where all streams of education are equally valued. We need more of people like the Chairman of Infosys, Narayanmurthy to make a difference without having an IIT BTech degree. Learn from Laxmi Mittal was a B.Com graduate from St. Xaviers, Kolkata. How many aeronautical engineers from IITs have made it to the NASA space missions ? How many IITians have gotten Turing Awards or Nobel Prizes in the last few decades ? Are IITs producing technological soldiers (say for Microsoft) or technological leaders who can set trends ?

As criticized by a Greek friend, "This system of yours in India is hurting creativity". Another Spanish friend said, "Its pity you don't have a good soccer team with more than 1 billion population in the country".

Gay, Lesbian and Bi-sexual: Parents freak out on discovering that their kids are not straight. If two individuals are spiritually connected, let them be marital partners. If men are scared of Gays, they should realize how painful it is for women to get raped !!

We don't need labels in our society. Referring back to first two grave prejudices, I cannot emphasize less that it is your responsibility to cast your vote to elect politicians who don't pass bills to increase quota. Support parties like Lok Paritran (at least through donations) than posting F-words against politicians and backward classes on mailing lists which is no better than "shouting in void". Arjun Singh is a rubber-stamp. Such decisions must be definitely taken in consultation with PM, Sonia Gandhi, numerous IAS officers and Secretaries. Then there are MPs belonging to backward classes. Politicians do realize that such quota is system not going to affect them while their political careers are at stake if they don't show favoritism. Computer and Electrical Engineering is easy but Social Engineering is not !

Where is the Missing Link ?

Being a TA I get to interact with many non computer science major students, so one day I asked a female student, "Why are you studying Women Studies ? Is there Men Studies also ?". She just smiled. This question had always intrigued me -- Why do women give mixed signals ? I always get to hear that understanding of men about women is zero. Since I might have to spend a significant portion of my life with a woman in life, I thought better I try to understand them. In my quest to understand them better, I thought of reading several books (no not Mills and Boons) written by women writers to know how women perceive women. To name a few such books, I read Difficult Daughters and Married Woman by Manju Kapoor, Na Hanyate by Maitrayi Devi, My Feudal Lord by Tehmina Durani, Lajja, Amar Meyebela and Nirbachito Kalam by Taslima Nasreen, Ekushe Pa (Step into 21) by Bani Basu. Watching highly woman-centric movies like Charulata, Ghare Baire (by Satyajit Ray) were also like reading novels. I am yet to read (auto)biographies of Hillary Clinton, Margaret Thachar. Admittingly, my observation could be biased towards Indian women. I do admit that females and males are equal and are incomplete without each other. It is understood that biologically female brain is wired differently. Both are superior to other on different aspects. My hypothesis is that women give a lot of mixed signals (mixed in the sense that men are incapable of understanding those signals all the time and I also realize I am talking like a man).

A natural classification of women falls into three classes: a) those who are really feminine in obvious ways; b) men-hater and feminist; and c) tomboys. Women in class (a) are those whose purpose is to find a dream man and lead a happy family life. It is independent of the fact if they are ambitious or not. They like shopping, gossiping, dressing flashy attractive clothes. They are very sentimental and emotional. Women in class (b) could be feminine also. But they make it a point in every action or word, how much they hate men (I should say celebrated columnist Shobha De falls in this class). Class (c) is comprised of tomboys and women in this class are mainly of the age 18-30. They neither hate males nor females but what they hate are the activites of women belonging to class (a). They like to emulate men which makes them feel important and confident. I think they have inherent sense of insecurity that if they don't pretend to be men they are vulnerable. They also think women in class (a) are like clinging vines to their husbands. Just to clarify my statement, Hillary Clinton, Sonia Gandhi or Priyanka Gandhi are not in this class. As Dame Edith Evans said, When a woman behaves like a man, Why can't she behave like a nice man ? Randy Milholland said, "The only way to be truly misogynistic is to be a woman".

Irrespective of the above classification, I pose the following claims as a query: why are women ambivalent ? The motivation behind my writing and question is that: A significant portion of mens' effort and energy is spent in understanding their nebulous mixed responses. If they are clear and firm, world will be much better place for everyone.

Expecting clear rules of engagement: Women are foreign language; Men always mispronounce it. Men are direct and women are indirect. Had it been consistent, men would have settled for it. But then women also expect responses of love and care in an explicit way. Women emphasize on articulation which is good but articulation should not be at the cost of obscurity. Women are gifted with skills for better communication. Tears are not meant for communicating everything (for some it is the last resort). On one hand women claim they are patient, tolerant and deep-thinker, on the other hand they are restless and impatient. Sense of insecurity always haunt them. According to women, men are sex predators and mens' idea of romance is sex. If it is so disdainful for women, why do many women would not stay with men who would not gratify them physically ? One interpretation of Kamala Das's sexuality charged compositions would be that she was not happy with her husband as far as physical relation was concerned. Madam Curie initially had no liking for Pierre Curie. It is only after writing numerous love letters and marriage proposals she agreed. That shows that women never deny firmly to anything. It is not clear if a woman likes a man or the qualities in a man. In Mahabharata, Draupadi never really wanted a husband rather she wanted a man with five distinguished qualities - honesty, strength, skill, patience and looks and as a result she got five husbands. In Ramayana, Rama could marry Sita in a Swayambar because he could lift a bow and put the string on it which was a test of his physical strength. I still remember winters in Boston. Temperature used to be -10 or lower. But blondes would be seen around wearing scanty dresses. Then women despise men for treating them as sexual objects. This often confuses men if they should be original in their bearings.

Poor Resource Management: Women want independence, recognition and respect. Often women do misuse what they get. One should read Ghare Bhaire (Home-Outside) by Tagore. He clearly portrayed how a wife of a Jamindar got attracted to a fraud Swadeshi named Sandeep. Her husband was the epitome of good person a wife can have as husband. Time as a resource is also poorly managed by women. They feel good and important if things are tidy, neat and organized. As a result they easily get lost in details. Top-down approach is always better than bottom-up approach. That means, first set the big-picture and then go into details. Is it really important if I am not in proper disposition all the time? Do we really need to perfectionist all the time ? What is the point of being a perfectionist if the overhead of being perfect is too much ? A man is a person who will pay two dollars for a one dollar item he wants. A woman will pay one dollar for a two dollar item that she doesn't want. Women often say, men have wrong priorities in life. I should say men have priorities for important things in life.

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus: Love and romance is really not a cup of tea for women. Great love stories (that of Romeo Juliet, Prithwiraaj Chauhan-Sanyukta or someone else) had not been great had the male counterparts not been proactive or passionate. It is not Mumtaz who built the Taj Mahal but Shah Jahan had made it. Without caring much about love, they care more about security, shelter and support both physically and emotionally. Well anyone can propose and claim she/he is in love, only men dare to materialize love. Sometimes men are foolish enough to prove themselves as knight. Women are not aggressive or assertive, thus a love story often ends up being a tragedy. Thinking that sacrifices and adjustments make one great, women continue to compromise on their dreams and goals. Can they really live happily for ever like this ? What happens when it dawns upon them that they never tried hard enough to materialize their dreams.

The purpose is not to enumerate all the mixed signals. May be there exists none. Men and women need to narrow down the margin of differences in thoughts and actions We need a better place where their is no divorce, no heartbreaks, no gender exploitation and discrimination. We need a communication protocol with clear set of rules.

Six Lessons To be Unlearned

I should not express apathy but sometimes I disapprove certain things that we learned in the school textbooks. I do agree that like history, textbooks were written by victors. Here is a list of six lessons that I think should be revised.

Honesty is the best policy: If you feel honesty will not get your job done, why being honest ? After being dishonest, if you feel bad and repentant, ask for forgiveness. It is better to ask for forgiveness than permission and empirical observation says that it works most of the time. In that sense Chanakya Niti is more relevant, "People who are honest and trees which are tall are chopped down first". Will you call diplomatic people honest or dishonest ? It should be revised as Honesty is the second best policy.

Truth shall prevail: If truth prevails, why do we have judicial courts ? If judicial court is enough, why do people still feel that O.J. Simpson must have been convicted ? If the rest of the world is protesting against US forces in Iraq, why is US dominance evergrowing ? Rather, Power and Strength shall prevail.

Beauty is skin deep: Even an unqualified, illiterate, short, bald and dark guy wants a bride who is beautiful. If beauty is skin deep, why don't we have Miss IQ, Miss Patient, Miss Educated, Miss Talented pageants ? So, Physical beauty matters most.

Love is immortal: If love is immortal, why do most love marriages end up in divorces ? Love is conditional and love is a business seem to be more appropriate. So, don't pretend to fall in love unless a business proposal is convincing enough.

Knowledge is Power: Bill Gates signs cheques for hundreds of PhDs or more. Does that mean, Bill Gates is more knowledgeable than those researchers ? Is George Bush the most knowlegeable person on the planet today ? People claim pen is mightier than sword. How many of you know the names of the Noble Prize winners of 2005 or more recently the Pulitzer prize winners of 2006 ? Money and Authority is Power.

Charity Begins at Home: Why are Brahmins reluctant to marry non-Brahmins ? What phylogenetic traits are they trying to preserve ? Charity only begins at my neighborhood.